It is difficult to say whether the blessings of sex and intimacy in a God-honoring marital relationship are proportionate to the damage that occurs from the abuse or misuse of sexual relationships that are not honoring God, outside the protective blessings of a marriage ordained by Him. It is easy to say however that the former is good, and the latter is bad. Yes, it is easy to say, but many of us have experienced teaching that is not easy to hear and heed. Whether that experience is because we personally struggled with the temptation to engage in sex outside of marriage, or that experiences from realizing how resistant others are to a message of extramarital or premarital sexual abstinence, simply hearing what we should do often fails to prompt a correct action-response. As a father, I know I have told my children what God desires for us within a marital union undefiled by impurity. And I know that my own father gave me similar instructions during my youth. Yet even as these Godly instructions have been delivered lovingly, they are challenged by a worldly concept of sex that argues the literal opposite of what God intends. And Satan makes it seem so very appealing to the eyes and the fleshly nature of man. Yet even Jacob’s first-born son, Ruben, defiled his own father's bed and had sex with Bilhah, his father's concubine (Genesis 35:22); so, we know there is Biblical precedent for a father's instructions on sexual purity to be dismissed. But that is of little comfort when we see the pain of broken relationships and the emotional and spiritual injury that comes from sexual relationships that we previously advised against.

Here is what we need to understand about this:

· It is foolish to become frustrated praying for our children. God desires that we intercede on their behalf through prayers, and they never stopped needing it. Their need for us to continue praying for them is not conditional upon the choices they make or have made.

· It is foolish to give up on the standards we know to be Biblical and right for our children. They may make the wrong choices now, but we serve THE GREAT REDEEMER. He isn't going to abandon them because of the choice they make to pursue a fleshly desire. And our role has clear hope demonstrated in verses like Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” And if you abandon the Godly standard for one child, because they've already made their choices, so “Oh well, nothing I can do about it now.”, you are telling your child that you had no conviction in your previous instruction, making a liar out of yourself. You are also setting a horrible example for any other children in your household, making it nearly impossible for you to effectively instruct them on purity.

· And, It is foolish for you to think that the vulnerabilities your children face or may have already succumbed to, are not just as dangerous for you, and do not need to be guarded against in your own life. Marital purity and healthy marital sexual relationships are not simply for premarital instruction or youthful maintenance. Abraham was 100 years old, and Sarah was 90 years old when their son Isaac was born. They were quite old while still maintaining a healthy marital sexual relationship. But Abraham was also quite old when at age 86 his son Ishmael was born because of an unhealthy sexual relationship with Hagar, who was not his wife.